Tuesday, November 24, 2015

The King

I  feel the scorn
of others-

in which you bathed me
time and time again
the darkness of you
always choking

The cold swept through me
in your gaze, an illness I
cannot name only feel
the symptoms of your disease
which ate through my bones

and left me with a rabbit's heart,
seeing no escape when you
were struck down by the stone
and lay helpless-

Removed from your throne.

Once again
I rescued the King
who ruled his subjects
under a reign of terror
sending him far away to the healers
where no one knew
of the crown he wore-

 In the silent castle
 I heard the sound of my own voice
 as tyranny lay down its sword.

The others pointed and judged
when I protested your return
even as I screamed the truth
of your rule.

"What kind of Queen abandons
her King?"


I stood fast in the desolation
as I watched the house of cards be
swept away by my words

Knowing if I tried to save you
this time-

I would die. 


Tuesday, November 3, 2015

I Can't Die For you

So many years
I lay silent
praying, hoping
I could save you;

save us
only to find
I was dying
bit by bit-

 hiding myself
pretending it would
all be ok-

Three decades later
the mirror showed
a reflection I couldn't bare

I saw the dying part of me
the self I let fade away
trying to save you

and when the song played
"there's really no way to save me
I'm already gone",
and you said that was your song.

I realized I  could  no longer die for you,
I am sorry it's what some expect
but I need the joy, the light which
God gave me.

I can no longer live in your shadow. 

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

House (for deverse; Layers 05/13/3015}

It offered new beginnings
nestled in the shadows of
pines and towering maples-

The sound of a stream
filling the air on that
late summer afternoon
when he promised
things would be different.

She peered inside, a little enclosed porch
bathed in dimming sunlight,
through the window the bookshelves
empty lulling to be filled

Old hardwood floors
in need of a family
to dust away years of neglect

A half finished kitchen
soon to be filled with the smells
of home.

Peeling wallpaper,
uneasy on the eyes
replaced by colors of
sea and sand

waiting to be kept-

Only to broken
by rage and illness
once again, the family shattered
by the lies of " love".

She sits alone
surrounded by all that
would never be enough for him

Seeking solace in the emptiness
still hearing the distant echo 
of the life which leaves her bleeding.

He sits alone
body broken
spirit fading
by all the lies
he left behind.

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

I Am a Tree

I am a tree
Strong yet still bowing

My leaves have yellowed
From all the years of shading
Protecting from the hail
And angry winds

Parts of me scattered
Returning to the earth
To soften the touch
As their feet whisked
Them away to the sun
I always sought  even
On the darkest of days

Where even my shadow
Hid, fearing the truth
Which would one day
Uproot me and I would
Sway in all directions
Forgetting I was still worthy

And as the thunder roared
Reminding me, I was alive
And as the lightning helped me
Find my way, I became united
With the one I left behind.

I am a tree
no longer bowing.  

Tuesday, April 7, 2015

To My Father (for deverse; writing letters)

Dear Dad,

So much has happened since you passed. The girls are grown, Jazzy has a beautiful
little boy, named Benjamin who plays the Ukelele and dances like you wouldn’t believe.
When I first held him, he reminded me so much of you, an old soul, kind and gentle.

Chrissy is expecting her first a little girl in a couple of weeks, who we call Baby P. because she and her husband can’t decide on a name yet.

I had another daughter, Kayla you never had the chance to meet. She is in her first year of college and she too, reminds me of you with her sharp wit and Strawberry blonde hair.

Mom passed away six years ago, we never managed to find the closeness we should have. I know she was lonely, I just didn’t know how to fill that space. The years have often been unkind and still I wake up each day looking for the joy I know still exists.

Dan’s sister Phyllis, who I loved dearly died two years before I had Kay. I miss her so much. His other sister, Linda passed away last June, just as we were becoming close. I had just found out two months before, I have Rheumatoid Arthritis and now Dan is in a rehabilitation center, he had a stroke on February 24 of this year. He is not doing well. I don't know if he will ever be able to come home.

I am so grateful that Marcia and I have become close like sisters should be. She has been a tremendous source of strength and support during this terrible time. I don't know what I would do without her. I appreciate her so much and what a blessing to have her in my life. 

I think of you often, what a wonderful father you were to me and how unfair to have lost you when you were only 53, the same age I am now. I feel there is so much to be grateful for in spite of all the heartache. You taught me how to be strong and keep my sense of humor and I am trying to retain both in the midst of all the heartache. I miss you dad. .I wish you were here to hold me.

                                                                                                                   Love Lisa

Sunday, April 5, 2015

The Ghosts We Left Behind

Impossible to save-

Always a darkness
the being of you

Hell bent
on destruction
your own
as well as mine
and anything worth loving

Part of you
now gone-
Does the distant memory
Still hold what could have been?

All the things
which made our lives
surround me in the stillness
couldn’t  make you see
what mattered

Never enough
to fill the emptiness
of the  years before
I arrived.

How I have starved –
Emaciated by want
and need .

In healing
hold the years of us close
and  you will find
the love which always beckons
in the ghosts we left behind.   

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

The Wind (for deverse; Winds of March)

Would you take this
wind of change?

How cold it blows-
Chilling my bones

It does not dry my tears
but burns my skin
as I bare my bones
In truth’s stark gaze

Am I mourning?
Yes all the things
I let die,
those bits of self
which never cried-

As you face me now
so lost by the darkness
of not remembering

How chilling the gale-
Gusts in remembrance
of the half life we lived

And now
there is even less
still I carry the burden
of all the wishes
put to death
by the breath exhaled
in the forest who sighs.

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Phoenix Rising (for deverse; Poetic Confessions)

 Phoenix rising
from the ashes
of our grief-

We are reborn
made anew.

Holding our tears
glistening in sapphire blue.

The scars of rose colored talons
digging deep into the marrow
of memory

Of what once was
before lightning struck,
scars still burning
bright as sun, remembering
that dark winter night-

When our lives changed
and you could no longer
remember my name.

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

My Brother, the King (for deverse; Let's get a little medieval)

My Brother, the King

Am I envious?

Of the crown he wears
The women who succumb
To his royal advances,
The palace in which he lives,
Abundant in its material guise,
Dungeon of doom.

His thoughts,
Hold no more value
Than my own

His teachings
Instilled with cruelty
And punishment
No rod is spared
For his inability to

As he lay quivering
In a dark corner haunted 
by the memory of misunderstanding
wounded still from the bruises
of childhood.

Such fine clothes
Adorn his frailty
He hides his fear
Dancing with the Queen
Who does not love him
Simply a womb with a crown.

Am I envious
Of my brother
As I live outside
His prison of contempt?

 Even though I am-
Poor and wanting

I do not envy
my brother, the king
For I am wealthy
In love
And all the poverty
Of being cast aside,

Child of our father’s mistress.

I am warmer
In the fields of want
Than I could ever hope
To be
Within the confines
Of his prison

I hear him weep at night.
Do you?

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

For You (for deverse- A Poem From the Future)

For You

I know you never believed
you’d still be standing
painting your dreams
with those crooked hands
your body, fighting itself
like  an unwelcome intruder-

Yet here you are
reading these lines
penned by those swollen, red
works of art God didn’t let time

And how the grandchildren
love you, so happy you are here
to hold their babies-

Benjamin, the sweet and gentle child
grew up to be everything you imagined.
 How he reminds you of yourself,
 always searching, grasping time
 knowing it is all too fleeting.

The little girl, you called Baby P.
holds her son and sings the songs
Gammie taught her, old Motown
remembering your gentle voice.

Baby Kay holds her children
tells them the story of Margaret,
The Happy Cub, filled with hugs
and good wishes and how you
brought her to life, more precious
than the prize you told her one day
she would win for helping to heal
the wounded.

Your three girls
still hold you close
treasuring all the moments
you shared with them,
years reflecting the bluest eyes.

As you all have witnessed
the changing world,
no longer a digital age
of cold communication

It has returned to the human touch
 we all missed for so long.

The sun still shines brightly,
the moon lulls the sleeping
and though you are now old
and waiting, you know 
how blessed you have been.

Sunday, February 15, 2015

My House, Half Empty

I occupy too many rooms
All sparse
Only fragments of me
Fill the shadows

No one room
Can I fill
Vacant, a flickering of light
Soon extinguished
By  indifference.

The pearl, hidden in the
Confines of world
Blinding its eye

Although it burns brightly
In all that is human
It offers no riches deemed worthy.

It is a pauper’s song
Ancient lyrics of a search
For the why and the need
of the poets who are always hungry. 

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Is This Love?

I would like
to hold you

without restraint
just let you be
breathe in and out of me-

Sustaining the beat
of hearts who discovered
each other when the night
 left us empty enough
 to fill the pure space between us.

Wednesday, February 4, 2015


Held hostage
by the shackles of limbo
where reaching is restrained.

Always in the posture
of departing, feet bound
by doubt.

The ransom already paid
by the crippled years
she binds to memory.

Never blooming in mid-afternoon,
she rides the dark horse beneath the moon
seeking the Goddess who will save her.

Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Silent Snow (for deverse Snowed under, Iced in...)

Quiet earth
Beneath white silence

Untainted by this world

How it makes one
Go inward
Feel the gentle stirrings
Of memory

For the warmth of shelter
Empathy for those without

Like a seventh day
All is still
We can almost hear
 The angels sigh.


The thief arrives
stealing the lies

almost fatal
stirs in the dark

and some part of you
cries in the night.

Saturday, January 31, 2015

Must We Tear Ourselves Away? (for deverse, open link;January 31, 2015

Must we tear ourselves away?

Always waiting for the arrival
Of a new happiness,
So often she eludes us-

Through the open door
On a summer’s day
Vanishing with the breeze

Taking our thoughts
To some distant star
Born in the night

When all along
She sat beside us
We were just too busy
Chasing her ghost.

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Ella (for deverse-Hair;01/27/15

How I loved to
Sit beside you

Watch you loosen
Long, gray strands


For those days
When the mane of auburn
Burned with fiery youth

Courted by the Scotsman
My grandfather
His gaze enough to make you blush

The tears well up
In your tired eyes
He no longer remembers you

Only that he can’t use his right arm
Can’t plant the gardens
Can’t hold anything dear to him

 The brush strokes
You sigh his name
And as it hits the floor

You know
You can’t hold it anymore

"You Can Tell Which Girls Lack Mothers By The Look of Their Hair" (Re-Posted from 2013) for deverse Hair; 01/27/15

When I looked into the mirror
 I knew she wasn’t there

Lost in some distant place
where sanity, shipwrecked

lie buried in the sand-
Mother’s hallowed sanctuary
where daughters didn’t exist.

with boy cropped hair
searching for beauty which wasn’t
there .

Seeking communion-
lost little girls
in grass stained jeans

Digging for China
in backyards

Not to be seen
much less heard

in her silent world
where we never tread.

We never reached China
that far off land
on the other side of the world

Still we dug, reaching and reaching….

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Myth (for deverse Poetics-Photography of Totomai Martinez: Mood)

I am the myth
which holds
your sanity-

A lie which feeds
your loneliness

in stillborn promises never kept,
somedays in embryonic sleep
their birth never labored-

I am the myth
which chains me. 

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

I Remember (for deverse; http://www.nickgentry.com; Deja vu 2014)

I remember-
silent seas
the first stirrings of life

sprouting wings
fins and limbs
learning to breathe

I remember sinning
tasting forbidden
craving knowledge
bowing beneath
the blue

I remember how I loved
believing it was true

stripped of self
feeling one with
endless climbs
and being made anew

I remember
being born
over and over again
as time held me in its embrace

I died a little
from the stillness
of all I lost to a year.