Wednesday, April 22, 2015

I Am a Tree

I am a tree
Strong yet still bowing

My leaves have yellowed
From all the years of shading
Protecting from the hail
And angry winds

Parts of me scattered
Returning to the earth
To soften the touch
As their feet whisked
Them away to the sun
I always sought  even
On the darkest of days

Where even my shadow
Hid, fearing the truth
Which would one day
Uproot me and I would
Sway in all directions
Forgetting I was still worthy

And as the thunder roared
Reminding me, I was alive
And as the lightning helped me
Find my way, I became united
With the one I left behind.

I am a tree
no longer bowing.  

Tuesday, April 7, 2015

To My Father (for deverse; writing letters)

Dear Dad,

So much has happened since you passed. The girls are grown, Jazzy has a beautiful
little boy, named Benjamin who plays the Ukelele and dances like you wouldn’t believe.
When I first held him, he reminded me so much of you, an old soul, kind and gentle.

Chrissy is expecting her first a little girl in a couple of weeks, who we call Baby P. because she and her husband can’t decide on a name yet.

I had another daughter, Kayla you never had the chance to meet. She is in her first year of college and she too, reminds me of you with her sharp wit and Strawberry blonde hair.

Mom passed away six years ago, we never managed to find the closeness we should have. I know she was lonely, I just didn’t know how to fill that space. The years have often been unkind and still I wake up each day looking for the joy I know still exists.

Dan’s sister Phyllis, who I loved dearly died two years before I had Kay. I miss her so much. His other sister, Linda passed away last June, just as we were becoming close. I had just found out two months before, I have Rheumatoid Arthritis and now Dan is in a rehabilitation center, he had a stroke on February 24 of this year. He is not doing well. I don't know if he will ever be able to come home.

I am so grateful that Marcia and I have become close like sisters should be. She has been a tremendous source of strength and support during this terrible time. I don't know what I would do without her. I appreciate her so much and what a blessing to have her in my life. 

I think of you often, what a wonderful father you were to me and how unfair to have lost you when you were only 53, the same age I am now. I feel there is so much to be grateful for in spite of all the heartache. You taught me how to be strong and keep my sense of humor and I am trying to retain both in the midst of all the heartache. I miss you dad. .I wish you were here to hold me.

                                                                                                                   Love Lisa

Sunday, April 5, 2015

The Ghosts We Left Behind

Impossible to save-

Always a darkness
the being of you

Hell bent
on destruction
your own
as well as mine
and anything worth loving

Part of you
now gone-
Does the distant memory
Still hold what could have been?

All the things
which made our lives
surround me in the stillness
couldn’t  make you see
what mattered

Never enough
to fill the emptiness
of the  years before
I arrived.

How I have starved –
Emaciated by want
and need .

In healing
hold the years of us close
and  you will find
the love which always beckons
in the ghosts we left behind.