Thursday, November 6, 2014

Lost Innocence (for deverse; Fair)

I thought it
would be fair

way back when
before I learned
of atrocity

Sitting in a classroom
15, blinded by what
I thought it meant to
be human

Kind, compassionate,

Then truth stabbed me
in that room filled with peers-

As we fixed our gaze
on a slideshow of genocide
mastered by a madman
supported by his followers

Men, women and children
all heaped in mass of
“ethnic cleansing”

I remember crying, unable
to sleep
asking my dad how such a thing
could happen, not once but
many times?

He shook his head
unable to find an answer. 

I will be haunted
from the visions
of concentration camps.

 I felt my innocence
die that day.
and still I wonder
how life could be
so far from fair?

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Ghost (for deverse; The Book of Dead Man)

Am I a ghost?

A lingering presence
caught between then
And now.
It was not easy
shedding flesh
for spirit-

All the longing,
wishes I let die
I thought the mirrors lied-

Telling me I was dying

I wasn’t finished-

Prayers went unanswered

Glad I wasn’t a prophet
to my own demise

I was a fate
I never knew.

Monday, October 27, 2014

Sweet Love

Sweet love
I am the suddenness
in your sleep

Ghost of dreams
which slipped away
smoke through
stained glass-

Where your reflection
still lingers.

Wednesday, October 22, 2014


And the world goes on
In her sped fast way

Leaving us here
A bit breathless

Longing for each other
Miles away
I reach for you

How you pulled me back
From the darkness

Shedding light
With your innocence

Seeing joy
When I only saw shadows

Pulling me back
To a time
When I could breathe enough
For both of us

Shallow it feels now
Missing your face
Wishing you needed me
As much

Always I wonder
If the light still halos you
Always I wonder if the shadow
Of your absence will cradle me?

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

On Being Human (for deverse; Good News, Bad News, Your News)

From the beginning
from a heavenly grace
which offered paradise

But paradise cannot feed the human
always hungry
always reaching the sweet fruit of truth

and the truth
can be so ugly
genocides of innocents

wiped away in a deluge
of hate and desire
for the perfect which
cannot be found.

Tribes of strength
bowing -
The faithful crying
for their God

and as the news of the day
wipes its mouth of constant crime
we try to wipe the tears away.

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

How The Voices Sing (for deverse; Under The Influence of Music)

Faith don't fail me now
I know how the voices sing.

I feel so alone
like a frightened child
when the winds howl
seeking solace in the dance
of words.

How their truth
rings so loud
in the silence
of all I have known.

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

The Lake (for deverse Travel Poetry)

“For the creator there is no poverty and no poor indifferent place.”
 Rainer Maria Rilke

Heart stone, deeply buried
within the memory of a child

who saw her mother heal
alongside that quiet Lake
and came  alive joining me
in the wonder of it all

Her blue eyes
always so distant
as if chasing a dream
no one knew she had.

A dream of some far off place
where voices were kind and
came from the outside
easing the rage within her

Watching me swim-
still lingering on shore
anchored by doubt

The fear
she would be swept away
further than she had ever been.

Mother, stranger
lost in a tide I couldn’t see
only when she smiled
feeling so at home

did I witness
the transformation
seeing the child in her
connect  as she held my hand
 quickly letting go

When home came into view.  

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Long Time The Darkness Held Me (for deverse; Poetics: Bringing Light to Darkness)

Long Time the darkness held me-

Took away all
I believed

I held my breath
in silence

Waiting for the shadows
to vanish

Long time
The darkness held me-

 When we were young
 we were burning
Black ash
smothering dreams. 

Long time the darkness held me
cradled babe in motherless arms

I hear her voice
in the distance:

“Please forgive me,
I was lost”

Blue sky haunted
by the echo of her words.

Thursday, September 4, 2014

The Thinker (Rodin) A Nod to Rilke deverse 09/04/14


How the head bows
beneath the weight of heaven-

 Didn’t he tell us
“To live the questions
 and perhaps some distant day
 we would live into the answers”?

 So far away they seem-

 A silent heaven waiting
 for us to accept that we
“stand upon the mountain top
 always saying goodbye.”

We  know
that is the answer-

All the farewells
threaded into our being
make  us whole,

Like  “moonlight
falling gently upon the window seat"
the nearness of it always. 

Thursday, August 28, 2014

For The Old Man

“If it doesn’t come bursting out of you
In spite of everything
Don’t do it.”   Charles Bukowski

He spoke of a bluebird
He had inside
How he” poured whiskey on him
And inhaled cigarette smoke”.

I tried to drown mine
Its song too painful
To hear, I choked it with
Swallowed tears and smoke

Still it didn’t die
Worn on thin sleeves
Always feeling
Pushing, prodding me to sing

I couldn’t choke down the song
Life bled it from me
Year after year

The year my mother went crazy
The year my father died

The year love showed me
How cruel it could be

Life teaches the song
Blank pages filled with its notes

There is a harmony to the chaos
It’s called breathing.

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Homecoming (for deverse; August 12, 2014)

Where would I go?


The flutter of clipped wings
in the distance

Never found a place
I wanted forever

Comfort seemed
short lived

Children grow
and fly away

To follow them
not the answer

Never found the roots
some have been able
to grow deep

Mine sparse
still feeling the breeze
of a distant land

The ocean calls
only to sweep
me back to shore

Eons ago
she was home

Now I visit
tasting the familiar
knowing I can’t stay forever.

Dorothy said:
“There’s no place like home.”

Is it all a dream,
The search for those
backyard diamonds?

Saturday, August 9, 2014


The echo

Of silence

Plays upon


How would we



Draped in the black

Of worldly things

Which smother  a spirit

Waiting to be born?

Holding breath


It weeps in the shade

 no longer able

to breathe freely

each gasp

a struggle

to be heard.

Sunday, July 27, 2014

For Them

He holds his head
anchored by the heaviness
of knowing

Staring into her eyes
the blue fading
misty gray from all the tears

Decades they remember
sharing the same window
high school sweethearts

Consummating love
in the tall grass
beneath a pale moon

Bowing trees paying
homage to the dark
where the years lie still
waiting to be born

The children came
one after the other
filling the tiny cabin

Rooms were added
love grew strong
an unbreakable bond
only death could sever

He holds his head
anchored by the heaviness
of knowing

He will leave it all behind
no choice was given
the fight now
draws to a close

All the weapons
piled high
useless armor
against the enemy.

She runs her fingers
through the few strands
remaining, still loving
as she waits another day
knowing soon she will
have to say good-bye

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

The River (for Ella)

The River
(For Ella)

Don’t you hear it?
The sweet sound
of her slumber
between the white sheets
breathing of sun from a noonday sky

where she hung them
as the wind whipped and lashed
the fairness from her face.

She stared toward the river
feeling it pulling her back
to that day when all above was
blue and still, until her heart
tore when she heard his cry

knowing she couldn’t save him
from something so deep.

Sunday, June 29, 2014

Graduation Day

For Kayla

You stand out
amongst the crowd 
leaving childhood behind

to venture into the future
seeking the freedom of new

 As I remember all the years-

Holding your hand
as we walked together
down the hall to your first
day of kindergarten, reluctantly
I let you go.

Visiting you at lunch
lonely for each other,
looking forward to Halloween
shedding formality for memories.

learning to swim,
always wanting to venture further-
reluctantly, I let you go.

Hearing you sing
to KT Tunstall
on the way to school
the beauty of your voice
filling me.

Fifth Grade Graduation-
as we blew bubbles
saying goodbye as you rode off
to another new beginning.

Seeing you grow
on stage, a favorite place
from “Character Matters”
to “The Tempest”.

The magic of you
lingers , all the things which
made up a life I will always treasure-
From Build a Bear, Webkins, Peter Rabbit
Polly Pocket to discovering the Beatles,
renewing my love for them.

Lana Del Rey lulling us into
far off places as we eagerly
anticipated seeing your sisters .

You have given me more than I
could ever have hoped for, filled
my days with wonder and beauty.

On this day, when you say goodbye
to childhood, reluctantly I let you go
hoping you will always find solace
in the memories as I do.

Friday, June 20, 2014


It seems darker now,
now that you’re gone-

The breeze reminds me
of the breath you exhaled
so often in sorrow and
loneliness for someone
we both loved so much.

Twenty years ago
we said goodbye
to your sister, yours of blood
mine of fortune.

Your ashes  scatter, filling
 the emptiness she left behind.

Just when I learned of you,
and why your precious
beating deadened the silence
of loss, you were whisked away
in the dark and I never had a chance
to say goodbye.

Saturday, May 31, 2014

Baby Girl (for deverse-May 31,2014)

How it swept me away
like the tide
watching you build castles
in the sand, forever blue
lay beyond.

 That moment
 took my  breath away
 held  tightly, deep within
 knowing I would always
 remember that August day.

Your laughter filling the
 sky, warming-
 more than Sun

The clouds came in
our family distraught
with illness, sad days
filled the blue.

But here we all are
embracing the memory
of your childhood-
 you taught us how
to love baby girl.

Now reluctantly
we let you go
knowing you will change
the world, as you have
changed us.

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Redemption (for deverse-In Haphazard Fashion)

Shadow cast
in the luminous flicker
of a feigned smile.

How the voice coils
in retreat, waiting on
itself for a carefully
chosen word-

In hopes of warding off
the pernicious warmth
of a lie told to bar entry
beyond the door

where all I have hidden
waits for redemption. 

Sunday, May 25, 2014

Memorial Day

On a stillborn day,
silence weighing heavy
fracturing freedom’s wing-

How they fall
soldiers in a field
fighting someone else's war
not their own-

That battle lay bleeding
on a distant land
overgrown with thorns,
piercing the heart with
unspoken goodbyes

As warriors surrender
to an unsung song.

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

What Lingers When All is Said and Done (for deverse, questions of identity)

It’s still there,
The emptiness-

Woman I never knew
still remembering
her stormy eyes
clouded by an illness
I never understood

Even now, all I have
ever learned doesn’t feed
the silence between the hours

When I lie awake beneath
an all knowing moon
set in a mysterious sky
illuminating a darkness

It doesn’t tell me
the things I need to know.

That child felt alone
the woman I have become
still tries to fill the shadow
my mother left behind.

Wednesday, May 7, 2014


I remember the scent
of each one-

How it created a longing
to cradle them close to my heart
where their beginnings were born.

 Feeling tiny hands
 caress my face,
 whispering stone-set love.

To rock them gently
through all the turbulence
as the earth revolved in sync
with the endless sweep of time,

forcing me to let go
bit by bit-

The ache
it leaves behind.

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Secrets (for deverse-May 6 2014; Trees)

dark, thick with
rooted certainty-
echoes of an old song reborn

At the mercy
of currents
in thoughtless motion
 into the deep hard places
sharp with memory.

 Limbs holding truth
 bound to earth
 giving breath
reaching to sky,
 whispering leaves-
shedding secrets.

Wednesday, April 23, 2014


Did I abandon
my body
when she grew tired
of nurturing all but herself?

Bitterness filling
a now fruitless womb.
How stale the taste of age
on the tongue of one who
longs for new.

Letting them go,
no easy task
for forever loving them.

Still I remember
the joy of their years
sharing that part of myself I see
 leaving for an unknown place.

Always bound
to taunt heartstrings
like a harp
the music slow and mournful
with a painful beauty of leaving
it all behind.

Still the echoes
fill the years-
Loving was not always easy
the emptiness it leaves-

 In a darkened room
 filled with shadows,
 I gather memories, stored
safe in the deepest marrow

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

She-Wolf (for deverse Animal Symbolism)

Isn’t she lonely?

pacing with the hungry

Waiting for her to decide
all things, mother earth
beneath her feet
trembling with all
 the world’s weight.

She herself carries
A brood of lost,
half-blinded by the darkness
sun doesn’t show her the way,
familiar paths guide;
dark forests forbid.

Still she ventures
 instinct carries
the burden,
bowing to the greatness
of a silent knowing.

Save them.
Save them,
the ancient words
echo between stone
always she hears the
whispering, bone-born chant-

Dying would be easy,
carrying fate
breaks solitary wishes.

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

I've Got Half a Mind

I’ve got half a mind
to steal my life-

The part I gave away
to love
how it chained me,
captured heart-

Beating to another's
always bleeding
filling someone else's veins.   

I’ve got a half a mind
to take it back, it’s just
too late.

Once I gave it away
it will never find it’s
way home.

Saturday, March 22, 2014


Doesn’t it whisper
in the dark
when all is still
beneath frozen foundations?

Leaving ourselves behind
taking another path
we deemed as destiny
blinded by hope-

Dancing with someone else's
shadow, always dreaming
of the one we sacrificed
her song as distant as stars.

How did we ever forget
the words?

Sunday, March 16, 2014

What We Have Left Behind

A bloodline mix-
Compassion, fear

 painful thing
 when objects of affection fall,
 shattering our reflection.

 all consuming-
 it’s never the same
 some pieces no longer fit

We discard them,
build anew
and wait for the next storm
inside our fortress-
Only to discover
all things break

We build again

Holding palms to heaven
pleading for strength
to face a different world,
always missing what we
have left behind.

Tuesday, March 11, 2014


You burn
right through me-
Bright star of hope-

I am growing thin on promises,
cold in your absence

Digging deep
into a frozen wasteland
always a new beginning rises.

Another past
I leave behind
arms outstretched,
I ask for more.

Insatiable being
time can’t hold back
the desire to shine.

Still the shadows,
lock me in.

Forest of discontent
limbs offering another

You burn
right through me-

Will I ever be free?

Saturday, March 8, 2014

Dark Paradise (Mindlovemisery Prompt 46, Bitter loathing)

Is this what you promised me,
a dark paradise filled with piercing
thorns, bleeding endlessly, anemic
with love?

The pallor of promises,
ghost white in all the lies
in which I strangle a self
never born.

Breathe me in-
Tell sorry to stone,
petrified by empty words.

I will wait all my days
for what I have never tasted.

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Dad (For deverse 02/27/14 Character)

Red hair, green eyes
thin frame, heavy
of spirit.

Man of honor
held it in,
suffocating on all
he held back.

Loving someone
who never knew
what that really meant.

Had to save the child
many times from the
loveless world she
tried to escape from,
first with church,
then with young love
turned bitter.

Drove an old 55 Chevy pickup
battered, it fit like a glove,
tired, yet still on strong legs
they rode off, always returning
to a place, never a haven, always
choking, heart dying from the
choices which never seemed like
choices at all.

Made a bed, he never could
sleep in with any peace, held
the covers wishing, always wishing.

Dying in that bed, dreams
held tightly as he remembered
how hard he tried.

Wednesday, February 26, 2014


I always-
missed you mom
so detached, linked
to a world not mine.

Loving me
was not an option
illness took that away
buried  deep
in a crowd of voices
only you could hear.

I know now
you’re in a different place-

Heaven it’s called and in
the midst of angels
you look down upon me
and remember that you loved me.

Monday, February 24, 2014


She didn’t know my name
only remembered a child-

The child she took
swimming in the brook
behind our house, her house.
She said she never lived there

When I said
“mom, you must remember me.”

 She said-
 she was no one’s mother,
 never had any babies.

Her eyes blue and blank
as if in a dream somewhere
long ago, still young and childless.

She told me of dancing
barefoot in the grass
with a young man
as if it were yesterday.

The young man,
my father fell from grace
and ran off leaving his children
to care for the wife who forgot
his name.

All the years-
erased by a savage
invader who took my mother
to far off places where years
were held by timeless days.

Like a ghost she haunts the past
leaving me lonely.


Monday, February 17, 2014


In a proud fire
she burned
clad in ashen righteousness.

she never sought
it found her
clenching fairness
from the game.

was always the goal
but being right
left a scorching heat
melting away all the victory.

Standing alone
with her prize
she wondered
if a curse had not been
bestowed upon her

as she blew the ashes
into the still air
suffocating in their
lingering dust-

 And the years still
 remained the same.

Outside Eden

I wish to be held
and not hated

for all the things
I did wrong.

I wish to be heard
between the angry words
which fill the space
between us.

Sometimes I wish
you could see
my reflection in your tears.

 I am just as lost-

In my human guise
there beats a tender heart
I have hidden deep inside

which you have closed,
afraid it will tear again.

Healing never takes place
with bloodletting
and so I weep for you and I.

Saturday, February 8, 2014

Sketchbook (for deverse 02/08/2014)



How the light flickers
shadows dance
true colors imerge
from the dark places-

The lightness of words-
growing heavy.

The hating of years
show their scars
in spite of fire’s illusion,

The pain aches once again-

If she could, she’d deafen
the other ear, and memory
would lie, as it’s split-forked
tongue learned long ago.  

“I never thought you were
 worth fighting for,”
 he said with spite.

“I never thought -
 you were worth saving,” but
 once upon a time, before truth
 reared its ugly head, she did.

Saturday, February 1, 2014

I Remember My Bones (For deverse, Repetition 02/01/2014)

I remember
my bones-

pure and silent

Carrying me
through years

I remember my bones
filled with all the destinies
of my kin

The pain of their burdens
bearing down
upon sunburned brows
In lazy fields
a harvest waiting.

I remember
my  bones-
Etched by the sharp
edge of time

I rock them gently
for they are mine.