For The Old Man

“If it doesn’t come bursting out of you

In spite of everything

Don’t do it.”   Charles Bukowski

He spoke of a bluebird

He had inside

How he” poured whiskey on him

And inhaled cigarette smoke”.

I tried to drown mine

Its song too painful

To hear, I choked it with

Swallowed tears and smoke

Still it didn’t die

Worn on thin sleeves

Always feeling

Pushing, prodding me to sing

I couldn’t choke down the song

Life bled it from me

Year after year

The year my mother went crazy

The year my father died

The year love showed me

How cruel it could be

Life teaches the song

Blank pages filled with its notes

There is a harmony to the chaos

It’s called breathing.

Homecoming (for deverse; August 12, 2014)

Where would I go?

Always-

The flutter of clipped wings

in the distance

Never found a place

I wanted forever

Comfort seemed

short lived

Children grow

and fly away

To follow them

not the answer

Never found the roots

some have been able

to grow deep

Mine sparse

still feeling the breeze

of a distant land

The ocean calls

only to sweep

me back to shore

Once-

Eons ago

she was home

Now I visit

tasting the familiar

knowing I can’t stay forever.

Dorothy said:

“There’s no place like home.”

Is it all a dream,

The search for those

backyard diamonds?

Spirit

The echo

Of silence

Plays upon

Chaos

How would we

Find

Ourselves

Draped in the black

Of worldly things

Which smother  a spirit

Waiting to be born?

Holding breath

Sacred

It weeps in the shade

 no longer able

to breathe freely

each gasp

a struggle

to be heard.

For Them

He holds his head

anchored by the heaviness

of knowing

Staring into her eyes

the blue fading

misty gray from all the tears

Decades they remember

sharing the same window

high school sweethearts

Consummating love

in the tall grass

beneath a pale moon

Bowing trees paying

homage to the dark

where the years lie still

waiting to be born

The children came

one after the other

filling the tiny cabin

Rooms were added

love grew strong

an unbreakable bond

only death could sever

He holds his head

anchored by the heaviness

of knowing

He will leave it all behind

no choice was given

the fight now

draws to a close

All the weapons

piled high

useless armor

against the enemy.

She runs her fingers

through the few strands

remaining, still loving

as she waits another day

knowing soon she will

have to say good-bye

The River (for Ella)

The River

(For Ella)

Don’t you hear it?

The sweet sound

of her slumber

between the white sheets

breathing of sun from a noonday sky

where she hung them

as the wind whipped and lashed

the fairness from her face.

She stared toward the river

feeling it pulling her back

to that day when all above was

blue and still, until her heart

tore when she heard his cry

knowing she couldn’t save him

from something so deep.

Graduation Day

For Kayla

You stand out

amongst the crowd 

leaving childhood behind

    

to venture into the future

seeking the freedom of new

worlds.

 As I remember all the years-

Holding your hand

as we walked together

down the hall to your first

day of kindergarten, reluctantly

I let you go.

Visiting you at lunch

lonely for each other,

looking forward to Halloween

shedding formality for memories.

SPARC Park-

learning to swim,

always wanting to venture further-

reluctantly, I let you go.

Hearing you sing

to KT Tunstall

on the way to school

the beauty of your voice

filling me.

Fifth Grade Graduation-

as we blew bubbles

saying goodbye as you rode off

to another new beginning.

Seeing you grow

on stage, a favorite place

from “Character Matters”

to “The Tempest”.

The magic of you

lingers , all the things which

made up a life I will always treasure-

From Build a Bear, Webkins, Peter Rabbit

Polly Pocket to discovering the Beatles,

renewing my love for them.

Lana Del Rey lulling us into

far off places as we eagerly

anticipated seeing your sisters .

You have given me more than I

could ever have hoped for, filled

my days with wonder and beauty.

On this day, when you say goodbye

to childhood, reluctantly I let you go

hoping you will always find solace

in the memories as I do.

Linda

It seems darker now,

now that you’re gone-

The breeze reminds me

of the breath you exhaled

so often in sorrow and

loneliness for someone

we both loved so much.

Twenty years ago

we said goodbye

to your sister, yours of blood

mine of fortune.

Your ashes  scatter, filling

 the emptiness she left behind.

Just when I learned of you,

and why your precious

beating deadened the silence

of loss, you were whisked away

in the dark and I never had a chance

to say goodbye.