The King

I  feel the scorn
of others-


in which you bathed me
time and time again
the darkness of you
always choking

The cold swept through me
in your gaze, an illness I
cannot name only feel
the symptoms of your disease
which ate through my bones

and left me with a rabbit's heart,
seeing no escape when you
were struck down by the stone
and lay helpless-

Removed from your throne.

Once again
I rescued the King
who ruled his subjects
under a reign of terror
sending him far away to the healers
where no one knew
of the crown he wore-

 In the silent castle
 I heard the sound of my own voice
 as tyranny lay down its sword.



The others pointed and judged
when I protested your return
even as I screamed the truth
of your rule.


"What kind of Queen abandons
her King?"

"Treason!"

I stood fast in the desolation
as I watched the house of cards be
swept away by my words

Knowing if I tried to save you
this time-
 

I would die. 


 

I Can't Die For you

So many years
I lay silent
praying, hoping
I could save you;

save us
only to find
I was dying
bit by bit-

 hiding myself
pretending it would
all be ok-

Three decades later
the mirror showed
a reflection I couldn't bare

I saw the dying part of me
the self I let fade away
trying to save you

and when the song played
"there's really no way to save me
I'm already gone",
and you said that was your song.

I realized I  could  no longer die for you,
I am sorry it's what some expect
but I need the joy, the light which
God gave me.

I can no longer live in your shadow.