Dad (For deverse 02/27/14 Character)

Red hair, green eyes

thin frame, heavy

of spirit.

Man of honor

held it in,

suffocating on all

he held back.

Loving someone

who never knew

what that really meant.

Had to save the child

many times from the

loveless world she

tried to escape from,

first with church,

then with young love

turned bitter.

Dad-

Drove an old 55 Chevy pickup

battered, it fit like a glove,

tired, yet still on strong legs

they rode off, always returning

to a place, never a haven, always

choking, heart dying from the

choices which never seemed like

choices at all.

Made a bed, he never could

sleep in with any peace, held

the covers wishing, always wishing.

Dying in that bed, dreams

held tightly as he remembered

how hard he tried.

Mom

I always-

missed you mom

so detached, linked

to a world not mine.

Loving me

was not an option

illness took that away

buried  deep

in a crowd of voices

only you could hear.

I know now

you’re in a different place-

Heaven it’s called and in

the midst of angels

you look down upon me

and remember that you loved me.

Forgotten

She didn’t know my name

only remembered a child-

The child she took

swimming in the brook

behind our house, her house.

She said she never lived there

When I said

“mom, you must remember me.”

 She said-

 she was no one’s mother,

 never had any babies.

Her eyes blue and blank

as if in a dream somewhere

long ago, still young and childless.

She told me of dancing

barefoot in the grass

with a young man

as if it were yesterday.

The young man,

my father fell from grace

and ran off leaving his children

to care for the wife who forgot

his name.

All the years-

erased by a savage

invader who took my mother

to far off places where years

were held by timeless days.

Like a ghost she haunts the past

leaving me lonely.

.

Burning

In a proud fire

she burned

clad in ashen righteousness.

Martyrdom-

she never sought

it found her

clenching fairness

from the game.

Winning

was always the goal

but being right

left a scorching heat

melting away all the victory.

Standing alone

with her prize

she wondered

if a curse had not been

bestowed upon her

as she blew the ashes

into the still air

suffocating in their

lingering dust-

 And the years still

 remained the same.

Outside Eden

Sometimes

I wish to be held

and not hated

for all the things

I did wrong.

Sometimes

I wish to be heard

between the angry words

which fill the space

between us.

Sometimes I wish

you could see

my reflection in your tears.

 I am just as lost-

In my human guise

there beats a tender heart

I have hidden deep inside

yours

which you have closed,

afraid it will tear again.

Healing never takes place

with bloodletting

and so I weep for you and I.

Sketchbook (for deverse 02/08/2014)

Sketchbook

Candles-

How the light flickers

shadows dance

true colors imerge

from the dark places-

The lightness of words-

growing heavy.

The hating of years

show their scars

in spite of fire’s illusion,

The pain aches once again-

If she could, she’d deafen

the other ear, and memory

would lie, as it’s split-forked

tongue learned long ago.  

“I never thought you were

 worth fighting for,”

 he said with spite.

“I never thought -

 you were worth saving,” but

 once upon a time, before truth

 reared its ugly head, she did.

I Remember My Bones (For deverse, Repetition 02/01/2014)

I remember

my bones-

Strong,

pure and silent

Carrying me

through years

I remember my bones

filled with all the destinies

of my kin

The pain of their burdens

bearing down

upon sunburned brows

In lazy fields

a harvest waiting.

I remember

my  bones-

Etched by the sharp

edge of time

I rock them gently

for they are mine.